A year in review

I'll be honest...I wanted to do a deep, meaningful post about our year. But--time, like always, slipped away. I'm not sure how long I'll leave this post up---I still feel weird about having his picture "out there". But...until then.. enjoy :-)

January

 February

 March

April

 May

June

July

August

September

October

November (still holding strong for our team!)

December

Happy New Year!!

Countin' it down

As the year winds down, I thought share with you my Top 10 things I've learned about being a mom this year.

10. Now that LM moves, I take back everything I said about the video monitor. I want one :-)

9. They really mean it when they say that all your careful research/preparation on how you'll raise your baby will disappear like a pair of new Jordan's at a mall before Christmas. Once you meet him, you learn to survive in a way that works.

8. I had the urge to stay at home with LM instead of returning to work much stronger than I ever expected. That said, I'm happy with the choice I made of going back to work.

7. People judge--they judge whether you breastfeed or don't breastfeed or where/when/how you stop---they don't stop just because they realize it hurts your feelings. Everyone is an expert in raising your baby---just remember that you (and perhaps your partner) are really the only experts.

6. Seek out moms. I'm not the the personality that fits in with most of my SIL's mom's groups. I should do a better job at seeking out groups that match my personality/priorities etc better. But--heck who has time. What I have found though--is that my due date group is the best group of moms I know. They give me advice, calm me down, listen to me vent and coo over the latest picture of LM. They also give me a chance to help them--with my opinions, my experiences and sometimes, even some teacher advice. They rock my world and I LOVED getting Christmas cards from them.

5. TH is better at matching baby outfits than I am. All of the compliments we get on his stylish outfits are either "put together" or bought by The Hubs. Is it any wonder I let him buy me clothes? :-)

4. Balancing motherhood/work/wifedom is SO much harder than I thought. I feel like I'm being a great mom, a good teacher (sometimes just ok) and an average wife. In the new year, I will be a better one!

3. Time flies. Thank god we took so many pictures and have been vigilant about keeping a camera nearby.

2. Sleep. Holy crap. It's amazing how one can obsess over one thing so much. One day I hope to not worry so much about his sleep, sleep habits, positions, things affecting his sleep etc etc.

1. I love being a mom. I knew I wanted to be one. I knew I would be a good one (over-achiever much?). BUT--I didn't realize how much I would love being one. You cannot prepare yourself adequately for creating something so special and then being expected for the journey of keeping it healthy, thriving and off the news :-) LM rocks my world.

To-Do

We're hosting Christmas morning this year since it's LM's first and we have (ok I have) SO MUCH family.

I had a lot of things on my to-do list to get the house, presents, ourselves etc ready.

Wanna know what I forgot to put on it?

• Don't get food poisoning hours before guests start arriving (oh yeah, and don't let TH get it either).

There are no words right now.

Rightly Wrong

I live my life by routines--I like them, my kindergarteners need them and heck, even my dog likes being able to predict what will happen next (he's quite apt at "making predictions"). However, with 3/4 of year of being a mother under my belt---I wish I had realized the point of this article earlier. We do/did/plan to do a lot based off LM setting his own schedule---but the guilt/panic of realizing in the long run that we let him take the hard route is rough. Having to answer the question "Is he sleeping through the night yet?" with "No" and then watching the disapproving/confused/pitying looks....it makes you question whether you're doing the "right" thing. I need to realize there is no "right" thing and just roll with it better. There aren't a bunch of insomniac, pacifier addicted, rolling adults running around.
Check out this great article!
Where was this 9 months ago?

Still here!

I've been woefully absent this last month---we can blame lots of things but I'll choose crazy work life (end of the semester assessments--who thought 1:1 assessments while simultaneously teaching/entertaining 23 other five year olds was a good idea?) and trying to get ready for Christmas (note: I am not yet ready).

However, I've got a whole host of half-finished drafts that I've been working on this month when ideas strike me but just haven't had a chance to finish. So--look for them soon! Plus--I'm sure LM's first Christmas will be inspiration enough to churn out a few more!

But--what finally got me jumpstarted (besides winter break) was this lovely award

My very first!!!!! I'm so thankful that Life's Little Reflections deemed me worthy of this!

If you haven't seen the Liebster Blog Award yet--here's a bit of info!

The Liebster Blog Award is meant to spotlight blogs with fewer than 200 followers and provide them with a few more avid readers.

Here are the rules:
1. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
2. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
3. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
4. Hope that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers!

It was SO hard to choose my top five--decisiveness has never been my strong suit and with so many wonderful blogs on my reader...well...it was tough!


1. Alex's Adventures--she started her IVF journey very early in my pregnancy and I really enjoy watching her little one growing!

2. Infertile Myrtle--a mom who no matter what she has going on, is always an avid commenter and lifts my spirits more than she knows!

3. Musings of  Hormonal Egg Basket--Amy has a little on only a few weeks older than LM and her honest posts often speak right to my first time mom heart.

4. Jet's Journey--another first time mom blog where the little man is nearly LM's age. Add to it that she's in education and it's one of my favorite reads.

5. The (In)fertility Diaries--an amazing journey of infertility, adoption and surprises!


Enjoy!!

My baby is old enough to been born again.

LM is 9 months old!!!!

Well....a week ago. (Ok...several weeks ago...that's how long ago I started this post).

So much has happened in the last month. But first we'll hit the nuts and bolts.

Food--he's still eating about 30-35oz of formula a day. With his recent growth/developmental spurt, he eats 1-2 jars of baby food a day. He usually eats 2x at daycare and then a little bit at "dinner" time with us. He eats puffs and Cheerios now and ADORES them. His pincher grasp has dramatically improved in the last week--even mushy banana pieces make it into his mouth now! Our pedi said we're good to go to transitioning to more food and lessening the bottles. For now, we'll drop the "dinnertime" bottle and feed a bigger meal (it was usually more of a snack). I'll also stop worrying so much when he leaves ounces behind or if a schedule/routine change has us drop a bottle.

Sleep--since he worked out the whole sleep/rolling thing and discovered he's a combo side/belly sleeper, we've been *gasp* basically sleeping through the night. I will pause as you all sob from relief that I will hopefully stop bothering you all with my rants about his lack of sleeping well. He'll still wake up in the middle of the night crying sometimes--he never totally wakes up and after popping a paci in, he's good. We've been struggling with naps since we've been on winter break and so going to bed has been a struggle but we've been trying to roll with it and let him stay up a little later since he's sleeping in later (yay no 615am baby wake-up!!). It feels like such a victory as I've basically had crappy sleep since last January when I started getting up to pee every 3 hours. Hopefully this will help with the total lack of brain function I've been experiencing and some of the nerve pain in my back (another post)


Body/Brain--When we last left LM, he was rolling rolling rolling. He's been enjoying whipping himself around rooms by rolling. He's learned how to lift/lean his head to steer himself. He adores rolling at the Christmas tree but has been since thwarted by the ottoman blocking it. Just the other day he suddenly just sat up on his own. He's been sitting for while but BAM up he went. Within 48 hours, it was a highly polished skill. He loves sitting up in his crib and looking around. He's not crawling yet--but he is doing push-ups that resemble the awkward things I used to do in middle school gym (envision shaky arms and butt high in the air). He wants to pull up and tries...but doesn't quite get how to do it. I think that by the time I'm back at work (boo!!!) at the start of January, he'll be either crawling or scooting. The one year olds at his daycare are both recently walking so I think once he's back around them he'll be pushing himself. We have two new teeth (like within the last week new). My baby is officially a vampire with his cute little fangs. I guess I must shift my allegiance from Team Edward to Team LM. He's been working on his top four teeth since August so it's such a relief that some have popped through. Now, all he wants for Christmas is his two front teeth :-)


He's babbling up a storm--mama, dada, ca, ga, bah. Nothing with a lot of intention but I think the dog's name will be first as it has both b's and c's. He reaches for what and who he wants now. His opinions are shared--he'll shriek with pleasure or anger if his needs are meant. I'm not sure who he got this temper from (*glances guiltily around*)...we'll blame TH.  He loves music and claps when he hears it....as well as claps when he is happy or proud of himself. Books are still his thing---he adores them and I adore that he does.


He changes so much day to day---I'm so glad that winter break fell when it did. I'm having major mommy guilt about going back to work already...sigh. Maybe a mystery rich relative will die and as they secretly always found me to be the daughter they never had...leave me their millions. But--I should probably work on report cards and curriculum maps just in case.


Stats from 9mo appt--
21lb 10oz
29in long


Crazy LM! I love him so.

Holy Sleep-Killer Rollman!

I'm so excited that LM is rolling all over the place now. It seems so weird to think about how much he's changed in the last week. I was JUST posting last Sunday about him rolling over back to belly for the first time and now he's rolling everywhere. It's fun to watch him attempt to get where he wants...sort of the opposite of the saying about the shortest path between to places is a straight line!

However, an unexpected (though it shouldn't have been!) complication is his crib. First off, we had to lose the mobile (*sad face*) and lower his crib--both were sad mommy milestones for me. As you know, sleep has always been the one area where my super easy-going baby has been a challenge. Even with these obstacles, when he couldn't go anywhere, he always eventually fell asleep--on his back--and was usually in the same place in the morning (minus a few wiggles down and arm/leg positions). But now--you put him in the crib awake AT ALL and suddenly he's rolling and moving all over the place. He rolls, rotates, wedges himself against the side of the crib, plays with sticking his arms and legs out the side (did I ever tell you the breathable bumper doesn't fit our crib??) and various other non-falling asleep things.

He gets mad when he can't go where he wants or gets stuck. I think he is exploring how to get comfortable and find a position that makes him happy----something totally new. I know we all have our favorite positions to sleep in--why shouldn't he? I, for one, cannot sleep on my stomach to save my life. It's only natural that it would take some time for him to figure out how he likes to sleep. BUT OMG LM....you're killing me with the hour+ going to sleep thing developing. I've found that once he's on his stomach, if I pop his paci in and rub his back--he'll conk right out. But, this can only happen after he's decided he'll stay on his stomach long enough for this to happen.

*Sidenote--I've always thought he'd be a tummy sleeper--he loved to lay on me and sleep like that*

I want him to explore positions to learn how he likes to sleep. But--I'm scared of what's to come. I can't handle the going to bed routine taking forever---the quick start part was the only thing we had going for us some nights. I get so frustrated not knowing how to help him but, at the same time, feeling like he should be able to deal with it on his own. I can't handle CIO---especially now since the few times I've let him cry for a few and then picked him up, he's give me big salty kisses on the cheek. So, I'm stuck up there with him until he figures it out. I also don't want to start a new "bad habit" by rubbing his back to get to sleep.

AHH! How can one aspect of motherhood be so hard?? One step forward, two steps back.

Oh and of course, I now keep worrying he'll suffocate in his sleep because he's on his belly--even though he can put himself there and back. I know, I know! I should've never let TH convince me we didn't need a video monitor----@katery I envy you and your monitor!!

Anyone out there know anything about how long kiddos tend to take before they find their sleeping position favorites? Or have any tips on this transition?

Overheard (not, actually--Thank goodness)

As TH and I were decorating for Christmas today (while LM was F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. napping) we had the following conversation:

Me: We have to change this station (we were playing the Sirius Holly station on our tv)....I just cannot listen to Justin Bieber sing Christmas music. It's just not right.

TH: pause....pause...pause....pause....meaningful look....pause.

Me: WHAT?!

TH: Maybe you're being too hard on him....after all, this might be his baby's first Christmas and not many baby's have their Dad singing Christmas music to them on tv.

Me: pause. 


TH: It's true. Maybe he's really excited about baby's first Christmas. You are.


Me: Is it even his baby?


TH: Surely they have the paternity results back by now...he took it this week. It doesn't even take that long on Maury.


Me: Well, then maybe it is his baby. You would think they would have announced it right away if he was "right" and it wasn't his.


TH: Yeah. Or maybe he really will take Maury up on his offer to read the results on his show. Or maybe they're doing a Lebron-type special.


Me: That's true. I'm sure we'll find out this week.





Me: Why are we talking about this??? Thank goodness LM is napping and not hearing this.


TH: You're the one who brought up the Biebster.




And this folks is why I need to find my Bing Crosby Christmas CD ASAP :-)

"The Pilgrims came from far away...

to create for us this Thanksgiving Day".

Thanksgiving has always been a day that I have reflected upon what I am thankful for. After spending the last three days listening to my kindergartners share what they are thankful for--family, toys, video games, the pool, god and of course, most importantly Santa (?)--I decided to make sure that I shared what I am thankful on this first LM Thanksgiving.

I am thankful for LM--a blessing greater than we could've imagined. Watching him grow, change, learn and just in general love life, is something more special than I could've ever imagined.

I am thankful for TH--who is an AMAZING father and gets up with LM, changes his diaper and brings him to snuggle with me in bed on mornings he knows that I am exhausted or (like this morning) wake up with a raging headache (would've imbibed more last night if I knew I would wake up feeling like it anyway!!). He is wonderful and I am so lucky to have him.

I am thankful that I have a job that I love (most of the time!) and is secure. I have colleagues who inspire me and look to me for help, which pushes me to be better.

I am thankful for family--so much of it that it is overwhelming sometimes.

I am thankful for the Moms I have met in this journey---you teach me and save my sanity.

I am thankful we have a home and a safe place to live--I realize not everyone has this luxury.

I am thankful that I have this space to share my thoughts, ideas and experiences...and receive back such amazing support!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

The Mom who stares at monitors

It may not be men staring at goats, but I can only hope that I have the same kind of power when I stare at the baby monitor. I find myself staring at it in the middle of the night, trying to will it with my mind...to make the red lights stop flashing and jumping, for LM to go back to sleep....to soothe himself and settle back down. Surely, my mom powers are strong enough to will the red lights to stop.

We've managed to basically stop night feedings (mostly only as a last resort and even then, it doesn't really seem to help him go back to sleep any quicker) but he's still waking up in the middle of the night at least 3-4 nights a week. I thought we wouldn't be here at eight months. If you had asked me before I gave birth, I never ever would have thought he wouldn't be STTN by now. In fact, I was positive he would be by the time TH went back to work after six weeks......oh, how naive. We made such progress last week......last week.

But---here we are, nearly 3/4 of a year later, and I'm still hauling myself down the hallway once a night to pat him, soothe him, rock him, sit on the floor with my hand shoved through the slats of the crib letting him hold my finger while I attempt to stay upright and awake. And yes, TH does try to help---but LM just won't go back to sleep for him, so it falls to me.

Now that it's colder....it's harder than ever to leave my nest of blankets and walk down that hallway. I don't harbor any frustrations towards little monkey for this. I'm sure that it's me who needs to find a way to help him---maybe I enable him, maybe we need better daytime/nighttime/bedtime routines, maybe I'm missing the cues to help him sleep better.....who knows. But--it's just so much harder than I thought it would be at this point. I'm utterly exhausted...it's affecting my school life, my home life and just about everything in between. Because of course, after all those nights last week of FINALLY getting some sleep, he's not been feeling well and hasn't been eating very much during the day...aka not sleeping well again.

I know that it's part of mom life and I still never think twice about getting up when he needs me.....but I do stare at the monitor and listen and watch for the signs that show me he needs me or one day, that he won't need me and he'll drift back to sleep without getting upset, without crying, without something....because one day, we'll get there. I hope.