Gumballs and stuff

I've got several bits of things that I want to share with you all, and I've been trying to find time to get them all in their own posts....but.....it's not happening. So, I will be giving you a bit of a "gumballs in a machine" post. A little variety to spice up your Thursday night.

• Aggressive Much?

Little Monkey has always had a bit of a temper. But, it's usually housed itself in the form of opinions and squawks when he doesn't get what he wants at the correct speed. However, lately, he's started hitting. He does it for various reasons---when he's mad, tired, just because. There seems to be no rhyme or reason. Usually it's TH or myself that are the recipients of it...and it's usually when he's on our laps or being held. He doesn't seek us out just to hit, but rather does it as a reaction to something.

We've tried saying "no" "no hits" etc in our firm teacher voices. We've tried putting him down immediately after saying it. We've also tried ignoring it. However, the result of most of these is him smiling and laughing at us. I've got no idea on how to work this out....I lack the proper time for research. At least he's not really doing it at daycare. (knock on wood!).

Oh...and he's also started biting. Not out of anger, just crawling up and biting various body parts. But, he's also doing it to furniture, his fingers, toys etc so I assume it's related to teething. Though, our efforts to share with him that this isn't ok aren't any more successful than the hitting.

Is he just too young to get it? Or has he already decided he doesn't respect us and will be "that kid" in society?

• Climbing

LM has taken to climbing. Now--our house is pretty much as baby-proofed as we can make it (with the exception of a couple corner guards and drawer latches in rooms he doesn't go in). However, it appears that the little man loves to climb. He's been trying to climb his baby gates--finding minute success with the cheap one we've been throwing up in the back sliding door to let in fresh air in this AWESOME March weather. I hadn't really worried much about it since he isn't tall enough to climb up on the furniture and the stairs are gated at top and bottom.
But then...because he loves to mess with me....he started doing this...


yeah....he uses the cooktop as a drum.

• Dreams

The pregnancy dreams are out of control.....why didn't someone remind me about these??? I had forgotten what it's like to dream constantly ALL NIGHT LONG. It's exhausting. But--worse than that, I'm starting to wake up mid-dream and not realize it. I've woken TH up twice this week talking about things in my dream....including telling him to turn on the light because LM's hands were sticky and I needed to clean them off. I also whacked him good during one dream because I was dreaming he was falling off a cliff and I was "saving him". Yeah....he didn't appreciate my efforts :-) I've also been dreaming about work a lot---my favorite was parents calling to yell at me about RIDICULOUS things (although...that does happen in real life). My goodness...so tired. Luckily, LM is sleeping better at night, most nights not waking up (once he goes to sleep!).  I can't remember if this gets better or did I just get used to the dreams?

• Coming out

We've come out about the pregnancy to our parents (ok..not my dad yet but I've got this master plan about a Big Brother shirt but LM WILL NOT smile/look at the camera/not move suddenly while wearing the shirt). But--after spring break next week, it's time to come out at work. I'll be 12 weeks this weekend and I'm ready (though I'll probably make sure I can hear the HB on the doppler). I'm not as excited about sharing the news at work this time....I'm not sure that my maternity leave has faded from their minds (there was some drama because my team is a bit dysfunctional without me there...no..seriously...I mean it. They just had a convo in front of me this week about I can't have another baby because there's too much drama when I'm not around to keep people in line....awkward.)

So....we'll see how it goes. Part of my lack of excitement probably stems from the emotional disconnect that I'm still feeling with PS. I'm hoping this gets better...I feel a bit in a funk about it. Pre-Post Partum Depression anyone? Maybe I'm just burnt out about work and need a break to just relax.


So, those are my updates. I swear I'm going to work on posting more. I just can't seem to find the time/energy after LM goes to bed. I read everything on my phone...it's just a POS and going from Google Reader to the browser to comment screws up too much. I wish I could do it directly. Someday. Someday.

Weekend Woes

While I may have reservations about our DCP in some regards, the one thing I give her full credit for is getting LM on a schedule. He takes two naps a day, at approximately the same time every day M-Friday. He has snack at an appropriate time and is always hungry at dinnertime as a result. Due to his schedule, he goes to bed around the same time every night.

BUT---I hate it on the weekends. Because he usually sleeps in at least an hour later than normal (sometimes 2 if we're lucky), he goes down for his morning nap later, eats lunch later and sometimes has no interest in taking an afternoon nap or if he does, it's late enough it pushes back bedtime. He also goes down with little to no fussing for her. But for us, unless he's really tired, he cries. And cries. It usually only lasts a few minutes but those few minutes are heart-wrenching. Why do I have to be the one that has to listen to him cry? Why won't he sleep like that for us? It just sucks that he'll do things differently there than here.

Usually, this makes for some tense moments during the weekends---as I hate to let him cry and TH thinks he's old enough to "cio". But--it's only two days and we make it through. However, spring break is upcoming and I dread how 9 days of being "off schedule" will feel. Christmas break is longer, so we get into our own schedule. But, we'll just be getting there when it's time to go back to work. I'm not willing to get him up at 645 every morning just to "keep the schedule".

I don't really know what to do except hope and cross my fingers he doesn't cry at naptime. I just hate that I have to be the one to hear it...and I hate that the schedule I'm happy he has is the reason he's so off on the weekends.

Anyone have any good weekend/off-routine tips?

Fourth Meal?

So, as you know, I'm always embarking on some part of my continuous journey to get LM to sleep....sleep better, sooner, more solidly, enough to keep me sane after over a year of crappy sleep etc etc.

Recently, TH was on daddy duty while I went to a panel for incoming parents next year. I came home shortly before bedtime and LM was in his high chair going to town on some ham. Apparently, he was fussy so instead of assuming it might be time to wind down for bed, he fed him. AND....because why not...LM went immediately to sleep after his bedtime bottle and slept all night. TH is quite proud of himself of course and insisted it was the snack. Since LM does get cranky bananas for dinner around 5-530, I conceded it was possible he might be a bit hungry. So, we kept giving him a little snack a bit before bed---mostly proteins. And he slept really really well.

Now, it's not perfect by any means...we've had a few bad nights that may have been chalked up to not really much of a snack just as much as it could've been teeth, nap issues etc. But--since I'm superstitious, if it works, I repeat it until it doesn't. BUT--like all things that I feel like could be habit-forming....I worry.

I worry that by encouraging this very "fourth meal" habit, he'll either become dependent on it or fat. And--is it really a good idea for a snack that time of night to be ham or string cheese slices? Or, like the other night when we were eating our own dinner around this time, some pork bbq. Am I screwing this kid up? Will he be that college dude who has to hit up "the bell" late at night because he can't sleep without a full belly? Add to this that one of my pet peeves about my SIL and her kids is that they snack ALL THE TIME, and graze at meals as a result. Super fun on vacation...it's always time to stop for a snack.


Thoughts on "snacks" as a fourth meal?

And we have a pumpkin seed!

The u/s showed a strong heartbeat (180+) and a little gummy bear of a baby---complete with arm and leg buds!

The dates show it about 4 days behind my LMP but as I've always been a late O'er, I'm not surprised. But, LM was the same way with dates and was born the day before his EDD based off LMP, so we stick with that....Oct. 13th!

So...introducing out little pumpkin seen.

It's amazing how the technology has changed in a year and a half :-)

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.....they were a big help.

I'm so relieved.

Terrified.

That's really the only word I have to describe this afternoon's upcoming appointment.

At 1pm est (US) time, we'll find out if we have a pumpkin seed growing....or if my instinct/nerves are right.

We'll find out if we'll be a family of 3 or 4.

I'm terrified the u/s will be glaring empty or small. Or worse....they'll be no heartbeat to hear.

Do I have a logical reason for any of this? No---it just feels different and I've been un-centered since seeing those two lines.

I'm just scared. And could use some happy thoughts and fairy dust.

I am

Saw this post by Suzy at Not a Fertile Myrtle and thought it was fitting for my mood these last few days....

I am…  exhausted.

I know… I am too hard on myself.

I want… more time.

I wish… everyone could find what they are looking for.

I fear… tomorrow's 1st u/s.

I feel… inadequate.

I smell… the dog :-(

I hear… Celebrity Apprentice and LM coughing on the monitor.

I wonder…how I will manage two babies.

I believe… that children are the future (j/k). I believe that karma is a b*tch.

I sing… on the way to work to wake up.

I cried last… this morning.

I can usually be found… at home.

I am happy… when I am with LM and TH.

What are {you} today?