Sunday, January 29, 2012

Looking forward to Monday

Yup...I said it. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. We need a fresh start. Last week--sucked.

On top of the normal teething, cold, work, husband who I swear somedays just met me, we had our first real heart-stopping moment.

Tuesday progressed like any other day--children running amuck (I mean, learning), meetings to attend, colleagues to try not to flick between the eyes. That is, until I glanced at my cell phone in the early afternoon and saw 5 (FIVE) missed calls.

My heart dropped.

Long story short--they were all from my husband who had checked his phone upon returning in from recess and saw a text from our babysitter. LM had been pulling up on a speaker in the main playroom (their family room) and had fallen backwards. It had tipped and landed on him---the top edge hitting him right across the bridge of his nose, cutting him. Even though he had calmed right down when she picked him up and drank a bottle, she wanted us to know what had happened--especially since she through his eyes were dilated more than normal.

Because I had been out of my room making copies and picking up my kiddos from library, I had missed the texts and his calls to my classroom. He called his brother-in-law (a doctor) who said that even though it wasn't probably a serious injury at all, we should be safe and get him checked out. So, the building sub took over his room and he went to get LM.

As I'm hearing all of this, I feel the panic spread through my body. It's like that rush of adrenaline you get when someone jumps out and scares you. TH is on his way to pick him up and we decided to let him assess his general demeanor before deciding where to take him. I fly to the office and promptly tell both the principal and vice-principal that I need to leave....and then burst into tears. I explain what happened and they shoo me out the door to get on my way (after offering to drive me home themselves). I grab my stuff, thank the para who got pulled to run my room, totally freak out my kiddos on my way out the door in tears and head home to meet TH and LM.

Upon arriving at her house, TH said very little to her. She mentioned that he might end up with two black eyes but said little herself as TH had surprised her (we didn't answer back that he was coming). She woke him up from his nap.....I'll say it again folks...HIS NAP. Seriously...because isn't a nap a perfect thing to take place after a baby hits his head and you're worried. He calls me on his way home and says that he's got a good-sized cut on his nose but seems to be acting okay. At this point, I felt like I could breathe again. I drove home...totally obeying the speed limits and not passing cars on the right...and swooped him up in my arms. As much as he loves mama kisses, he wasn't too happy to has his play interrupted...another good sign.

Our BIL (who happened to have the day off), swung by the house and did a quick exam of LM himself. He didn't see anything wrong with him (and suggested that the pupil dilation she noticed was probably an adrenaline reaction of his own and since they weren't different sizes, it probably was nothing) and played with him for awhile himself. He told us what to keep an eye out for and said that we could probably forgo any trips to the doctor/hospital unless something changed. Thank goodness for doctors in the family (especially ones with three little ones under 7).

Now that the panic had subsided, TH and I started discussing what had actually happened. Since LM is not the only little one she watches that have been there when they started becoming mobile, we had made the assumption that things were baby-proofed appropriately. Now, I get that we never should have assumed. We asked the woman a million and a half questions when he started going there, but that stuff didn't come up at the time. However, who has giant (at least 3ft fall) 80's style speakers in the main play room that aren't mounted. Especially, since there are times that she has to be helping little one's in the restroom etc. She puts up gates to keep them from wandering and we had made the assumption she had thought of other things.

We were wrong....and pissed off.

(Okay, I realize I said long story short but....sorry!)

We talked for awhile and realized that we were going to have to talk with her that night about it all. Not only did I feel her attitude about it needed to be adjusted, but certain baby-proofing things needed to be in place before I could leave him there in the morning. I just couldn't worry about him all day long. So, I texted her and arranged for a time to come by. TH and I talked about what our expectations for her were and I steeled myself to be willing to pull him completely if she couldn't/wouldn't accommodate them.  I knew her main argument/excuse would be that it had never happened before with any of the other little ones, but that just wouldn't fly with me. I don't need him to be the guinea pig.

I don't do confrontations well. I hate them. My dad thrives on them and I grew up being embarrassed and uncomfortable with them. So, this wasn't something I was looking forward to. I gave myself a mom pep talk and headed over.

Turns out, she really was horrified that it had happened. When I got there, her husband was already working on mounting the speakers to the wall. We chatted about what else in the room/house needed to be baby-proofed---including, as it turns out, the kitchen. Who the heck runs an in-home daycare, serves breakfast and lunch out of their kitchen and doesn't have the kitchen childproofed!!!! We talkd about how I have no problem with her putting him in a PNP or something when she needs to be out of the room...I'd rather him be angry than hurt. I made it very clear that I wouldn't/couldn't leave him there if I was worried about it. They were very accommodating and repeatedly said that they would do whatever they needed to do and that they were open to any suggestions...they admitted it was a learning curve for them as well. So, I left there feeling ok about that part of it all. AND--I was thrilled that I didn't have to pull him...he adores her.

My concern at this point is that I worry that they didn't think of it first...I thought some of it should be purely logical if that is going to be your career. I'm a first time mom...I'm learning as I go so I can't use experience to help me look out for him in some cases. I can use intuition, information and a little luck to help guide our decisions but I need to be able to rely on those around me who are the "experts". I know accidents happen....I get that he'll fall and crash into things as this stage in his life. But--I also expect him to be doing the falling...not objects around him. We're staying there for now as I think we've resolved our issues. But gives me a lot to think about.

As for the rest of the week, there was lots of awkwardness (especially when one of their speaker mountings failed as she showed it to TH the next afternoon) and educating on our parts (we shared with them products that we've used to mount things---including some FABULOUS mounting ties if any of you are interested). The rest of the week went was just long.

And I'm so glad it's over. As I'm sure you all feel about this lengthy post!


  1. i'm glad she was concerned about it, that must have made you feel a little better. louise got stung by many many bees while she was in the care of my step-mom, in that case i don't think it was her fault and she felt super bad even though we didn't blame her at all. she got stung too but all she cared about was louise, she never even batted an eyelash about her stings.
    p.s. for some reason i can't comment on blogger blogs with my wordpress account lately so i'm using my google account.

  2. I'm so very sorry this happened! I'm so glad your little one is alright. We need to start child proofing our home (she's due in a few weeks so we have a bit of time) but would greatly appreciate info on the mounting ties you mention.

    Thanks! :-)

  3. Wow, that's rough. The only advice I have is don't assume anyone is going to know "more" than you - especially when it comes to your child and his/her safety. There I said it, but do I practice it? Not always. Confrontation is HARD! Telling someone something that you feel is obvious is HARD!

    I've repeatedly told our nanny not to microwave breastmilk. She never has, to my knowledge, I'm just so concerned that (for some reason) she won't know this (even having told her many times). But I suck it up and say it anyway. In the end? It's MY piece of mind that MY child is safe/well fed/etc.

    I'm so sorry you had this happen. THANKFULLY nothing worse happened and you can all get on the same page from here on out.

  4. Yikes! I'm so glad your little guy is okay! I'm also like you and am surprised that your caregiver wasn't more on top of things. I've worked with kids for a long time, both as a teacher like you, and in childcare settings. If I was ever to watch someone's kids in my home i would be RIDICULOUSLY careful. Hopefully this is the wakeup call that she needs but I don't blame you at all for being extra cautious and giving extra instruction. As a childcare provider I would be slightly frustrated if I was constantly being told how to do my job (except for things that pertain specifically to the differences between kids that parents know best), as long as I had proven to be proficient at what I was doing. It doesn't seem like she's done that though, so I think you have every right to step in and step on her toes as much as you would like to feel comfortable. Good luck!

  5. Thanks for all your thoughts! So far, things still seem to be going okay. I think I just need to stay proactive and make sure that I reiterate our expectations until she "gets" it. Hopefully that's the end of the llama llama drama drama


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