Welcome ICLW'ers!!! Please read the Our Story section to find out who we are and where we've come from!! Currently, LM is just shy of six months old and I just returned to work. Life gets crazier every day! I'd love to have you follow us--and I'm always looking for new blogs to follow too!
I watch a lot of shows on HGTV. Not because I have any gardening/decorating/cooking/domestic skills at all...but because for some reason I get sucked into them...oh, and I don't have to pay too close of attention.
I especially like watching all of the home-buying ones---from House Hunters to Property Vir.gins--there's something about watching people make a huge important life decision that I can critique and sometimes mock (seriously, some of the people on those shows have some weird tastes/requirements that I just can't help mocking).
I started watching them when we were house hunting ourselves years ago. Like all things me, it was something I was slightly obsessive about and this show was a good outlet. At first, it was all about the houses and renovations etc. But over the last few years, I've noticed different things. For instance, there seems to be a high number of people who are married couples that have clearly been married awhile and are "just us two". They're always looking for a hip home or a new location that is exotic, urban etc...i.e. not children friendly. They definitely differ from those people who talk about which room would be the nursery or where the swingset could go.
Before the journey of TTC'ing, it wouldn't have occurred to me that there is a high chance that these couples can't have children. Before IF, I always assumed it was a choice. Now I know better.
These couples are pursuing their "plan b".
It got me thinking about what our "plan b" was. We never flat out said we would do "this" if we end up not having children. It was always phrased much more "squishily"...such as, "Well..living downtown doesn't really have big backyards" or "The schools there are kind of iffy". Apparently, our plan was to be those cool hip people who live downtown (as if we live somewhere with a cool downtown!) and eat out at neat cafes and know where all the hip stores are. We'd walk the dog around and hit all the cool festivals. **Note...we're not actually very hip people..I don't think we'd be very good at it if we tried**
It's easy to think about the "plan b" now...with LM talking away in the swing next to me, intermittently projectile spitting up his bottle and laughing. Before, I didn't even realize we had it. When your heart is focused on finding a way to have that precious baby..no matter what...it's impossible to really think about it. At least it was for me.
What about you? Do/did you have one? Is it something you can think about yet? Is yours as totally "not you" as ours really turned out to be?
I learned a lot from my "plan b". I learned that it was something that we were holding on to because if we couldn't have kids, surely it would be we could just be cooler and free-er with our time/social life. It wouldn't mean it was just the two of us (and the dog) sitting at home DVR'ing Hell's Kitchen and House Hunters. It didn't fit who we really are. What would we have done in reality?? No idea. But, I hope that we would've thought about what was really important to us and headed down that road instead of trying to fit the stereotype of childless people.
Who knows? Maybe you would've seen us buying an awesome place on an island on HH International. We would've been the rational, reasonable about our budget limitations and easy-going ones :-) Suuure.
I hope you never have to use your "plan b"...but if you do--I hope it rocks your socks off.