TH has spent the last two nights at work until 8 (after teaching all day) doing parent teacher conferences. LM has been....hmm...how shall I say it...a bit of a pill. Monday he is always fussy and cranky because he has trouble settling down and doesn't get enough sleep on Sunday night. Usually he settles down by Tuesday (he crashes early on Mondays).
BUT--wow. Tonight he was in full, early terrible twos form. He oscillated between slap happy silliness with the dog to full on temper tantrums over nothing significant. He was a mess...and so was I.
At one point we were both crying. Him, because the dog ate the noodle he threw to him to eat. Me, because I have no idea how I'm going to do it. Two kids is one thing...it will be a handful and busy and chaotic. But--I'm starting to remember the beginning newborn days...the sleep deprivation, the mindlessness feeling, the numbness of moving through each day trying to figure it out, the engorgement, the feeling of constant feeding....oh and the pain (once the pain medicine prescription wears off). There are the happy feelings...the snuggly baby sleeping on you...looking all precious. But--it takes so long to overcome that scary beginning......how do I survive that AND be a good mom to LM?
We already know he's going to struggle with not being the center of attention. That's a given...he's 19months old and has us wrapped around his little finger. He didn't ask for a sibling, he would be perfectly happy with just us three (well, and the dog). It's going to be hard for him when he wants to snuggle and read a book with him and I'm feeding the baby. And, when I can't work up the energy to be the "fun" mom...he's the one who will suffer. I've already been given a taste of this as this pregnancy draws to a close. The pain and exhaustion I've been dealing with has made it hard for me to (and want to) get down on the floor and play with him. I've pushed through it most of the time...but he's already had to adapt and it's not fair for him. I know in the long run, he'll do more independent play and he'll love having a sibling close in age. But for now...now it just makes me feel guilty.
I don't know how we'll do it...I know we will survive...but I have to have to have to find a way to survive in a way that meets my expectations for our family. We can't just go through the motions.
It's scary to think about how I'll survive...somedays I barely make it with one. But, I guess it's a little late now!
Showing posts with label holy crap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holy crap. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Sunday, October 16, 2011
*thwack*
That sound, my dear bloggy friends, was the other shoe dropping.
I've been waiting all week for it to happen and last night it did.
For some reason, LM seemed to be all big kid grown-up baby last week and from Monday THRU Friday night, he slept through the night. Oh yes....let's pause and read that closely----he slept all night long for five nights in a row. Monday thru Thursday was 8/830-6am and Friday night he went down around 830 and got up at 9am (super sleeping-in baby!). It is more sleep than I've had at night (consistently) since probably January. I feel a little bit more human!
Every night I went to bed telling myself that he was going to wake up and not to expect a full night's sleep. I'd think about some variable in his day that was "off" and I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up. But--every night, I woke to my alarm instead of LM. I was starting to get freaked out :-)
But, last night, the other shoe dropped. Right on schedule (around 4), LM was up and unhappy. A quick snuggle and 4oz of formula later, he was down again (only to wake up at 630 wide awake with soaking wet pjs--but that's another story).
I, being crazy, immediately began analyzing what differences occurred yesterday that probably came into play. My guess---it was sleeping in 3 extra hours, taking naps in the car (granted they were 2 and 1 hour respectively) and not getting in all of his normal solids amount.
I'm superstitious and I totally attribute him STTN all week to the fact that all week at daycare he napped really really well, had all of his bottles and his jar of solids a day. That let me get his dinner and bedtime bottle fed to him in good time and not too close together. And it worked.
Well, that doesn't work on the weekend. Even though he did get most of his formula in (he left about 3oz in his bedtime bottle--which he did one night last week too so it shouldn't be that big of a deal) and did take naps, he only had maybe 1/2 of a jar of food. I don't know if that really has to do anything with it--it could totally be in my head. OR, if it's just the fact that he's at home and with us. I wish I knew. I don't though.
What I do know now is that he is capable of STTN for multiple nights in a row. When he slept for 13hours Friday night, it taught me that assuming I feel like he got enough food in during the day, he really probably doesn't even need the full 4oz when he wakes up. I *think* that over our fall vacation coming up this week, we may drop down to 2 or just snuggles.
I know now that he can do it and what I need to figure out is what really makes the biggest difference. Are we at the point where we need to focus our efforts on sleep training (and by that, I mean teaching him to go back to sleep when he wakes instead of thinking he HAS to eat)? Or do I need to figure out if I should focus on making sure he definitely gets enough solids during the weekend? Maybe I should have given him some baby food at dinnertime instead of going straight for the bottle. I suppose I could've offered if after the baby food and let him take what he wanted.
I wish it was easier to know what affects things. I wish it were as simple as knowing it was teething or a cold that wakes him up. Or whether he was really hungry when he wakes up. There are so many variables....it certainly gives my OCD a workout.
But for now, I'm just going to savor my LM being a big boy and giving me some sleep this week--when I really really needed it to survive a bad work week.
That and try to figure out how to get him to do it again!
I've been waiting all week for it to happen and last night it did.
For some reason, LM seemed to be all big kid grown-up baby last week and from Monday THRU Friday night, he slept through the night. Oh yes....let's pause and read that closely----he slept all night long for five nights in a row. Monday thru Thursday was 8/830-6am and Friday night he went down around 830 and got up at 9am (super sleeping-in baby!). It is more sleep than I've had at night (consistently) since probably January. I feel a little bit more human!
Every night I went to bed telling myself that he was going to wake up and not to expect a full night's sleep. I'd think about some variable in his day that was "off" and I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up. But--every night, I woke to my alarm instead of LM. I was starting to get freaked out :-)
But, last night, the other shoe dropped. Right on schedule (around 4), LM was up and unhappy. A quick snuggle and 4oz of formula later, he was down again (only to wake up at 630 wide awake with soaking wet pjs--but that's another story).
I, being crazy, immediately began analyzing what differences occurred yesterday that probably came into play. My guess---it was sleeping in 3 extra hours, taking naps in the car (granted they were 2 and 1 hour respectively) and not getting in all of his normal solids amount.
I'm superstitious and I totally attribute him STTN all week to the fact that all week at daycare he napped really really well, had all of his bottles and his jar of solids a day. That let me get his dinner and bedtime bottle fed to him in good time and not too close together. And it worked.
Well, that doesn't work on the weekend. Even though he did get most of his formula in (he left about 3oz in his bedtime bottle--which he did one night last week too so it shouldn't be that big of a deal) and did take naps, he only had maybe 1/2 of a jar of food. I don't know if that really has to do anything with it--it could totally be in my head. OR, if it's just the fact that he's at home and with us. I wish I knew. I don't though.
What I do know now is that he is capable of STTN for multiple nights in a row. When he slept for 13hours Friday night, it taught me that assuming I feel like he got enough food in during the day, he really probably doesn't even need the full 4oz when he wakes up. I *think* that over our fall vacation coming up this week, we may drop down to 2 or just snuggles.
I know now that he can do it and what I need to figure out is what really makes the biggest difference. Are we at the point where we need to focus our efforts on sleep training (and by that, I mean teaching him to go back to sleep when he wakes instead of thinking he HAS to eat)? Or do I need to figure out if I should focus on making sure he definitely gets enough solids during the weekend? Maybe I should have given him some baby food at dinnertime instead of going straight for the bottle. I suppose I could've offered if after the baby food and let him take what he wanted.
I wish it was easier to know what affects things. I wish it were as simple as knowing it was teething or a cold that wakes him up. Or whether he was really hungry when he wakes up. There are so many variables....it certainly gives my OCD a workout.
But for now, I'm just going to savor my LM being a big boy and giving me some sleep this week--when I really really needed it to survive a bad work week.
That and try to figure out how to get him to do it again!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Wascally Wabbit
Yesterday LM went to the pedi for his 4 month.
His stats are:
Weight: 16 lb 2 oz (61.34%)
Height: 25 7/8 in (76.06%)
Head: 16 1/8 in (24.84%)
General comments: happy, good head control, affectionate and healthy
He also got his shots...which I hate. He seemed to get madder about them this time. Getting all red-faced and screaming. It took him a few more minutes to calm down this time. But, once he did, he was good to go. He was fussy and sleepy in the evening but seems to be in good spirits today.
Which brings me to my title...LM's band-aids are about the cutest little things ever---Bugs Bunny. They looked adorable on his chunky little thighs, complementing his rolls well. But, they were going to meet their end this morning during his bath. However, LM had his own idea.
He was playing on his playmat--laughing and drooling while I loaded the dishwasher. When I was done, I went over to him just in time to see him stick the band-aid IN HIS MOUTH! Somehow, he had managed to pull it off and coordinate his little hands to get it in his mouth. Thank god I walked over when I did. It never occurred to me that he could pull hard enough AND get his fingers/grasp just right to be able to pull it off. When I think of what the outcome could've been...eesh. I guess it is a good example of how coordinated he has become since his last shots.
That other band-aid came off lickety-split.
His stats are:
Weight: 16 lb 2 oz (61.34%)
Height: 25 7/8 in (76.06%)
Head: 16 1/8 in (24.84%)
General comments: happy, good head control, affectionate and healthy
He also got his shots...which I hate. He seemed to get madder about them this time. Getting all red-faced and screaming. It took him a few more minutes to calm down this time. But, once he did, he was good to go. He was fussy and sleepy in the evening but seems to be in good spirits today.
Which brings me to my title...LM's band-aids are about the cutest little things ever---Bugs Bunny. They looked adorable on his chunky little thighs, complementing his rolls well. But, they were going to meet their end this morning during his bath. However, LM had his own idea.
He was playing on his playmat--laughing and drooling while I loaded the dishwasher. When I was done, I went over to him just in time to see him stick the band-aid IN HIS MOUTH! Somehow, he had managed to pull it off and coordinate his little hands to get it in his mouth. Thank god I walked over when I did. It never occurred to me that he could pull hard enough AND get his fingers/grasp just right to be able to pull it off. When I think of what the outcome could've been...eesh. I guess it is a good example of how coordinated he has become since his last shots.
That other band-aid came off lickety-split.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)