It's time to have "the talk"...I think LM's old enough don't you? I mean, soon he'll be asking how the new baby got in my belly...well...maybe not. I guess that talk can wait.
The "talk" with our daycare provider however, cannot. We knew when we told her we were pregnant that there was always a chance she had already taken clients for the fall to replace the twins (moving on to pre-school). To her, the ideal number is six...to me it's not---especially not with an infant. When we told her, one of her first questions was to ask if we were still going to bring LM back and bring the new baby. I explained to her that it's really important to us that besides LM, the two 2yos (well 2 in September) and the little girl 3 months younger than LM, we'd like our baby to be the only one she adds. We're comfortable (most of the time) with how he interacts with the other girls and the amount of attention he'll get----it's not 100% ideal but he loves her and she loves him.
However, she told us that she had already been talking with another family who was having a baby in September and would start when it was six weeks old. Now, even though PS will be born in October, I'll stay home until January. I know it's a lot asking her to go without the fifth child income from June (when the twins stop) until January....but in reality, the other baby wouldn't start until sometime in October anyway so it's really not that different. I explained that we'd really like it if it was capped at five (with ours being the fifth). You can't hold two infants as much as necessary (or as I deem necessary) and being able to have a free hand for the others (including LM who clearly likes to climb and get into mischief!). The family hadn't made a decision yet and she kept saying that she feels like six is her right number. I told her to take some time to think about it and talk with her husband and obviously we didn't need to make a decision just yet and we wanted her to think about it. When I came back in the pm for pickup, I honestly thought we'd at least chat about it again (she's a processor so this happens a lot from morning to afternoon) but she didn't. And I didn't...because I'm a chicken.
So...a month and a half has gone by. It's not like she pretends that I'm not pregnant---we've talked about my growing bump, she's said she's excited for us to find out what we're having next week. It just hasn't come up again. She made a comment last week to TH about having PS next year. But, we haven't had the conversation about whether that means she's not taking on the other infant or if she's talking about all six when she says that (why TH didn't use this as the PERFECT opportunity to talk about it, Ill never know). Also, if she says that she's going to have PS be the 5th, then I've got to figure out a way to make it clear (either verbally or contractually) that this means we expect her to not take on ANY more children (aka going over 5 including PS).
This is obviously not my strong suit---I'm not into confrontation (well, unless LM's safety is involved) and I'm scared she'll say she's taking on another and we'll have to stick to our guns and leave. And LM adores her...he never cries when I leave and usually strains to get into her arms right away. It's made going to work so much easier to know he loves it there---plus, she's disciplined so I know LM isn't going to run wild (that kind of spoiling only occurs at home!).
But, the end of the school year is approaching (hurray!) and we have to have the conversation before summer starts. We'll be taking him on and off throughout the summer but I need things squared away. But, I have no idea how to bring it up, under what circumstances (people around etc) and whether I have the spine to follow through.
Maybe I should just have the s.ex talk with LM and hide my head in the sand about this "talk".
Showing posts with label daycare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daycare. Show all posts
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Weekend Woes
While I may have reservations about our DCP in some regards, the one thing I give her full credit for is getting LM on a schedule. He takes two naps a day, at approximately the same time every day M-Friday. He has snack at an appropriate time and is always hungry at dinnertime as a result. Due to his schedule, he goes to bed around the same time every night.
BUT---I hate it on the weekends. Because he usually sleeps in at least an hour later than normal (sometimes 2 if we're lucky), he goes down for his morning nap later, eats lunch later and sometimes has no interest in taking an afternoon nap or if he does, it's late enough it pushes back bedtime. He also goes down with little to no fussing for her. But for us, unless he's really tired, he cries. And cries. It usually only lasts a few minutes but those few minutes are heart-wrenching. Why do I have to be the one that has to listen to him cry? Why won't he sleep like that for us? It just sucks that he'll do things differently there than here.
Usually, this makes for some tense moments during the weekends---as I hate to let him cry and TH thinks he's old enough to "cio". But--it's only two days and we make it through. However, spring break is upcoming and I dread how 9 days of being "off schedule" will feel. Christmas break is longer, so we get into our own schedule. But, we'll just be getting there when it's time to go back to work. I'm not willing to get him up at 645 every morning just to "keep the schedule".
I don't really know what to do except hope and cross my fingers he doesn't cry at naptime. I just hate that I have to be the one to hear it...and I hate that the schedule I'm happy he has is the reason he's so off on the weekends.
Anyone have any good weekend/off-routine tips?
BUT---I hate it on the weekends. Because he usually sleeps in at least an hour later than normal (sometimes 2 if we're lucky), he goes down for his morning nap later, eats lunch later and sometimes has no interest in taking an afternoon nap or if he does, it's late enough it pushes back bedtime. He also goes down with little to no fussing for her. But for us, unless he's really tired, he cries. And cries. It usually only lasts a few minutes but those few minutes are heart-wrenching. Why do I have to be the one that has to listen to him cry? Why won't he sleep like that for us? It just sucks that he'll do things differently there than here.
Usually, this makes for some tense moments during the weekends---as I hate to let him cry and TH thinks he's old enough to "cio". But--it's only two days and we make it through. However, spring break is upcoming and I dread how 9 days of being "off schedule" will feel. Christmas break is longer, so we get into our own schedule. But, we'll just be getting there when it's time to go back to work. I'm not willing to get him up at 645 every morning just to "keep the schedule".
I don't really know what to do except hope and cross my fingers he doesn't cry at naptime. I just hate that I have to be the one to hear it...and I hate that the schedule I'm happy he has is the reason he's so off on the weekends.
Anyone have any good weekend/off-routine tips?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Looking forward to Monday
Yup...I said it. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. We need a fresh start. Last week--sucked.
On top of the normal teething, cold, work, husband who I swear somedays just met me, we had our first real heart-stopping moment.
Tuesday progressed like any other day--children running amuck (I mean, learning), meetings to attend, colleagues to try not to flick between the eyes. That is, until I glanced at my cell phone in the early afternoon and saw 5 (FIVE) missed calls.
My heart dropped.
Long story short--they were all from my husband who had checked his phone upon returning in from recess and saw a text from our babysitter. LM had been pulling up on a speaker in the main playroom (their family room) and had fallen backwards. It had tipped and landed on him---the top edge hitting him right across the bridge of his nose, cutting him. Even though he had calmed right down when she picked him up and drank a bottle, she wanted us to know what had happened--especially since she through his eyes were dilated more than normal.
Because I had been out of my room making copies and picking up my kiddos from library, I had missed the texts and his calls to my classroom. He called his brother-in-law (a doctor) who said that even though it wasn't probably a serious injury at all, we should be safe and get him checked out. So, the building sub took over his room and he went to get LM.
As I'm hearing all of this, I feel the panic spread through my body. It's like that rush of adrenaline you get when someone jumps out and scares you. TH is on his way to pick him up and we decided to let him assess his general demeanor before deciding where to take him. I fly to the office and promptly tell both the principal and vice-principal that I need to leave....and then burst into tears. I explain what happened and they shoo me out the door to get on my way (after offering to drive me home themselves). I grab my stuff, thank the para who got pulled to run my room, totally freak out my kiddos on my way out the door in tears and head home to meet TH and LM.
Upon arriving at her house, TH said very little to her. She mentioned that he might end up with two black eyes but said little herself as TH had surprised her (we didn't answer back that he was coming). She woke him up from his nap.....I'll say it again folks...HIS NAP. Seriously...because isn't a nap a perfect thing to take place after a baby hits his head and you're worried. He calls me on his way home and says that he's got a good-sized cut on his nose but seems to be acting okay. At this point, I felt like I could breathe again. I drove home...totally obeying the speed limits and not passing cars on the right...and swooped him up in my arms. As much as he loves mama kisses, he wasn't too happy to has his play interrupted...another good sign.
Our BIL (who happened to have the day off), swung by the house and did a quick exam of LM himself. He didn't see anything wrong with him (and suggested that the pupil dilation she noticed was probably an adrenaline reaction of his own and since they weren't different sizes, it probably was nothing) and played with him for awhile himself. He told us what to keep an eye out for and said that we could probably forgo any trips to the doctor/hospital unless something changed. Thank goodness for doctors in the family (especially ones with three little ones under 7).
Now that the panic had subsided, TH and I started discussing what had actually happened. Since LM is not the only little one she watches that have been there when they started becoming mobile, we had made the assumption that things were baby-proofed appropriately. Now, I get that we never should have assumed. We asked the woman a million and a half questions when he started going there, but that stuff didn't come up at the time. However, who has giant (at least 3ft fall) 80's style speakers in the main play room that aren't mounted. Especially, since there are times that she has to be helping little one's in the restroom etc. She puts up gates to keep them from wandering and we had made the assumption she had thought of other things.
We were wrong....and pissed off.
(Okay, I realize I said long story short but....sorry!)
We talked for awhile and realized that we were going to have to talk with her that night about it all. Not only did I feel her attitude about it needed to be adjusted, but certain baby-proofing things needed to be in place before I could leave him there in the morning. I just couldn't worry about him all day long. So, I texted her and arranged for a time to come by. TH and I talked about what our expectations for her were and I steeled myself to be willing to pull him completely if she couldn't/wouldn't accommodate them. I knew her main argument/excuse would be that it had never happened before with any of the other little ones, but that just wouldn't fly with me. I don't need him to be the guinea pig.
I don't do confrontations well. I hate them. My dad thrives on them and I grew up being embarrassed and uncomfortable with them. So, this wasn't something I was looking forward to. I gave myself a mom pep talk and headed over.
Turns out, she really was horrified that it had happened. When I got there, her husband was already working on mounting the speakers to the wall. We chatted about what else in the room/house needed to be baby-proofed---including, as it turns out, the kitchen. Who the heck runs an in-home daycare, serves breakfast and lunch out of their kitchen and doesn't have the kitchen childproofed!!!! We talkd about how I have no problem with her putting him in a PNP or something when she needs to be out of the room...I'd rather him be angry than hurt. I made it very clear that I wouldn't/couldn't leave him there if I was worried about it. They were very accommodating and repeatedly said that they would do whatever they needed to do and that they were open to any suggestions...they admitted it was a learning curve for them as well. So, I left there feeling ok about that part of it all. AND--I was thrilled that I didn't have to pull him...he adores her.
My concern at this point is that I worry that they didn't think of it first...I thought some of it should be purely logical if that is going to be your career. I'm a first time mom...I'm learning as I go so I can't use experience to help me look out for him in some cases. I can use intuition, information and a little luck to help guide our decisions but I need to be able to rely on those around me who are the "experts". I know accidents happen....I get that he'll fall and crash into things as this stage in his life. But--I also expect him to be doing the falling...not objects around him. We're staying there for now as I think we've resolved our issues. But man....it gives me a lot to think about.
As for the rest of the week, there was lots of awkwardness (especially when one of their speaker mountings failed as she showed it to TH the next afternoon) and educating on our parts (we shared with them products that we've used to mount things---including some FABULOUS mounting ties if any of you are interested). The rest of the week went safely....it was just long.
And I'm so glad it's over. As I'm sure you all feel about this lengthy post!
On top of the normal teething, cold, work, husband who I swear somedays just met me, we had our first real heart-stopping moment.
Tuesday progressed like any other day--children running amuck (I mean, learning), meetings to attend, colleagues to try not to flick between the eyes. That is, until I glanced at my cell phone in the early afternoon and saw 5 (FIVE) missed calls.
My heart dropped.
Long story short--they were all from my husband who had checked his phone upon returning in from recess and saw a text from our babysitter. LM had been pulling up on a speaker in the main playroom (their family room) and had fallen backwards. It had tipped and landed on him---the top edge hitting him right across the bridge of his nose, cutting him. Even though he had calmed right down when she picked him up and drank a bottle, she wanted us to know what had happened--especially since she through his eyes were dilated more than normal.
Because I had been out of my room making copies and picking up my kiddos from library, I had missed the texts and his calls to my classroom. He called his brother-in-law (a doctor) who said that even though it wasn't probably a serious injury at all, we should be safe and get him checked out. So, the building sub took over his room and he went to get LM.
As I'm hearing all of this, I feel the panic spread through my body. It's like that rush of adrenaline you get when someone jumps out and scares you. TH is on his way to pick him up and we decided to let him assess his general demeanor before deciding where to take him. I fly to the office and promptly tell both the principal and vice-principal that I need to leave....and then burst into tears. I explain what happened and they shoo me out the door to get on my way (after offering to drive me home themselves). I grab my stuff, thank the para who got pulled to run my room, totally freak out my kiddos on my way out the door in tears and head home to meet TH and LM.
Upon arriving at her house, TH said very little to her. She mentioned that he might end up with two black eyes but said little herself as TH had surprised her (we didn't answer back that he was coming). She woke him up from his nap.....I'll say it again folks...HIS NAP. Seriously...because isn't a nap a perfect thing to take place after a baby hits his head and you're worried. He calls me on his way home and says that he's got a good-sized cut on his nose but seems to be acting okay. At this point, I felt like I could breathe again. I drove home...totally obeying the speed limits and not passing cars on the right...and swooped him up in my arms. As much as he loves mama kisses, he wasn't too happy to has his play interrupted...another good sign.
Our BIL (who happened to have the day off), swung by the house and did a quick exam of LM himself. He didn't see anything wrong with him (and suggested that the pupil dilation she noticed was probably an adrenaline reaction of his own and since they weren't different sizes, it probably was nothing) and played with him for awhile himself. He told us what to keep an eye out for and said that we could probably forgo any trips to the doctor/hospital unless something changed. Thank goodness for doctors in the family (especially ones with three little ones under 7).
Now that the panic had subsided, TH and I started discussing what had actually happened. Since LM is not the only little one she watches that have been there when they started becoming mobile, we had made the assumption that things were baby-proofed appropriately. Now, I get that we never should have assumed. We asked the woman a million and a half questions when he started going there, but that stuff didn't come up at the time. However, who has giant (at least 3ft fall) 80's style speakers in the main play room that aren't mounted. Especially, since there are times that she has to be helping little one's in the restroom etc. She puts up gates to keep them from wandering and we had made the assumption she had thought of other things.
We were wrong....and pissed off.
(Okay, I realize I said long story short but....sorry!)
We talked for awhile and realized that we were going to have to talk with her that night about it all. Not only did I feel her attitude about it needed to be adjusted, but certain baby-proofing things needed to be in place before I could leave him there in the morning. I just couldn't worry about him all day long. So, I texted her and arranged for a time to come by. TH and I talked about what our expectations for her were and I steeled myself to be willing to pull him completely if she couldn't/wouldn't accommodate them. I knew her main argument/excuse would be that it had never happened before with any of the other little ones, but that just wouldn't fly with me. I don't need him to be the guinea pig.
I don't do confrontations well. I hate them. My dad thrives on them and I grew up being embarrassed and uncomfortable with them. So, this wasn't something I was looking forward to. I gave myself a mom pep talk and headed over.
Turns out, she really was horrified that it had happened. When I got there, her husband was already working on mounting the speakers to the wall. We chatted about what else in the room/house needed to be baby-proofed---including, as it turns out, the kitchen. Who the heck runs an in-home daycare, serves breakfast and lunch out of their kitchen and doesn't have the kitchen childproofed!!!! We talkd about how I have no problem with her putting him in a PNP or something when she needs to be out of the room...I'd rather him be angry than hurt. I made it very clear that I wouldn't/couldn't leave him there if I was worried about it. They were very accommodating and repeatedly said that they would do whatever they needed to do and that they were open to any suggestions...they admitted it was a learning curve for them as well. So, I left there feeling ok about that part of it all. AND--I was thrilled that I didn't have to pull him...he adores her.
My concern at this point is that I worry that they didn't think of it first...I thought some of it should be purely logical if that is going to be your career. I'm a first time mom...I'm learning as I go so I can't use experience to help me look out for him in some cases. I can use intuition, information and a little luck to help guide our decisions but I need to be able to rely on those around me who are the "experts". I know accidents happen....I get that he'll fall and crash into things as this stage in his life. But--I also expect him to be doing the falling...not objects around him. We're staying there for now as I think we've resolved our issues. But man....it gives me a lot to think about.
As for the rest of the week, there was lots of awkwardness (especially when one of their speaker mountings failed as she showed it to TH the next afternoon) and educating on our parts (we shared with them products that we've used to mount things---including some FABULOUS mounting ties if any of you are interested). The rest of the week went safely....it was just long.
And I'm so glad it's over. As I'm sure you all feel about this lengthy post!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Ugh. Manic Monday.
After the first couple weeks of daycare (beg of Aug) LM settled into a good schedule of napping and eating at daycare. But, last week, we decided we were ready to have her start giving some solids during the day (previously we've only been giving him some at "dinnertime"). Well---all heck has broken loose and he either stopped taking his afternoon nap or would be up/down/up/down etc resulting in basically no nap. He also (near the end of the week) started not finishing all of the ounces of his lunchtime bottles. When he was at home in the evenings, we ended up dropping the dinner solids because he was more restless at night (having trouble going back down, not wanting to go to sleep in the first place, not wanting his last bottle etc) and I was worried he was too full. The weekend came and he took am/pm naps (though the pm were about an hour max) both days. He had two meals of solids a day (breakfast/dinner one day, lunch/dinner another) and most of his bottles (his wakeup time was later so he usually dropped a bottle in the morning).
Today, I mentioned to our daycare lady (in-home daycare place) that maybe waiting until after his pm nap for the second solids feedings would help him nap better and to just give him his normal lunchtime bottle instead. Apparently though, he didn't nap at all. He ate his breakfast bottle and half a jar of baby food (right on track) and his lunchtime bottle but refused to nap, take his late afternoon bottle (so she didn't attempt the solids) etc. TH said she seemed really frustrated (even complaining that she really relies on that hour break in the afternoon for herself...um WHAT?) and thinks that I should stop feeding him at night when he wakes up (just do water instead) because maybe he's too full to sleep well at night and then it's affecting his day. I already stopped feeding him when he wakes up (30min before we get to daycare) because he's been waking up for a bottle (4-6oz of formula) between 1-3 and sleeping until I get him up at six...that way he's ready to eat baby food right when he gets there.
I don't want her to be frustrated with him...because I don't want her to let him CIO as a result of her frustrations and trying to get him nap. I have NO clue why he's stopped napping. I'm sure it has something to do with the food--the timing is too coincidental. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong at night still feeding him a bottle....maybe we do need to wean off of it (he weighs about 20lbs etc).....I just don't know what to do. I'm a mess about it. I'm sure that there are other factors that might be in play too (teething, routine change etc). It also doesn't help that when he skips naps, he falls asleep in the car on the way home and naps for awhile at home...being awake later in the evening. And--now, because he skipped a bottle today...we're behind on calories/feeds and that doesn't bode well for sleep.
I just need help. I don't know what to try next....or what to say to her. I'm up for trying pretty much anything...whether it be during the day changes or night changes.... But, I also don't want to make changes because of her....I want him to be happy/healthy etc...that's first. I guess I just don't know what to do......and the anxiety about taking him tomorrow is already getting to me.
Here's what his "normal" schedule looks like in case that helps:
Bedtime around 8pm
Up for a nighttime feed (4-6oz of formula) between 1-3am
Woken up at 615 (diaper change, snuggles and out the door)
Breakfast (1/2 jar of solids) around 645-7.
Bottle (6oz formula) around 830.
AM nap--usually down around 9-930ish, asleep for 1.5-2 hours
1130/1200ish--was getting 1/2 jar solids with another bottle about an hour later (no solids today, just bottle at 1130/12)
1(ish)-245 PM nap (did not really occur last week or today)
Picked up around 345
Dinner bottle 530-6 (we used to do 1/2 jar solids around 430/5 and then the bottle around 530-6)
Bedtime bottle 8
This is really just a big long vent....I understand if you don't actually have a solution for me :-)
Today, I mentioned to our daycare lady (in-home daycare place) that maybe waiting until after his pm nap for the second solids feedings would help him nap better and to just give him his normal lunchtime bottle instead. Apparently though, he didn't nap at all. He ate his breakfast bottle and half a jar of baby food (right on track) and his lunchtime bottle but refused to nap, take his late afternoon bottle (so she didn't attempt the solids) etc. TH said she seemed really frustrated (even complaining that she really relies on that hour break in the afternoon for herself...um WHAT?) and thinks that I should stop feeding him at night when he wakes up (just do water instead) because maybe he's too full to sleep well at night and then it's affecting his day. I already stopped feeding him when he wakes up (30min before we get to daycare) because he's been waking up for a bottle (4-6oz of formula) between 1-3 and sleeping until I get him up at six...that way he's ready to eat baby food right when he gets there.
I don't want her to be frustrated with him...because I don't want her to let him CIO as a result of her frustrations and trying to get him nap. I have NO clue why he's stopped napping. I'm sure it has something to do with the food--the timing is too coincidental. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong at night still feeding him a bottle....maybe we do need to wean off of it (he weighs about 20lbs etc).....I just don't know what to do. I'm a mess about it. I'm sure that there are other factors that might be in play too (teething, routine change etc). It also doesn't help that when he skips naps, he falls asleep in the car on the way home and naps for awhile at home...being awake later in the evening. And--now, because he skipped a bottle today...we're behind on calories/feeds and that doesn't bode well for sleep.
I just need help. I don't know what to try next....or what to say to her. I'm up for trying pretty much anything...whether it be during the day changes or night changes.... But, I also don't want to make changes because of her....I want him to be happy/healthy etc...that's first. I guess I just don't know what to do......and the anxiety about taking him tomorrow is already getting to me.
Here's what his "normal" schedule looks like in case that helps:
Bedtime around 8pm
Up for a nighttime feed (4-6oz of formula) between 1-3am
Woken up at 615 (diaper change, snuggles and out the door)
Breakfast (1/2 jar of solids) around 645-7.
Bottle (6oz formula) around 830.
AM nap--usually down around 9-930ish, asleep for 1.5-2 hours
1130/1200ish--was getting 1/2 jar solids with another bottle about an hour later (no solids today, just bottle at 1130/12)
1(ish)-245 PM nap (did not really occur last week or today)
Picked up around 345
Dinner bottle 530-6 (we used to do 1/2 jar solids around 430/5 and then the bottle around 530-6)
Bedtime bottle 8
This is really just a big long vent....I understand if you don't actually have a solution for me :-)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Shh...don't tell.
Thanks for all your comments and ideas about my daycare post. We're still undecided on exactly how to handle it and for now, we're just going to wait it out and see. The newest little baby doesn't start for a few weeks yet and there's always the possibility that things will change. I'm going to try not to obsess and assess as we get there.
My secret for you in this post is a big one. As someone who is usually rocking the guilt train, this is a new one for me. I haven't been feeling very guilty about taking LM to daycare.
Now, don't get me wrong. I miss him all day long. My classroom is covered in pictures of him. I get text message/picture message updates during the day from the DL. I rush home much earlier than normal to lay on the floor and play with him. Weekends are sacred time--don't try to get me to do anything useful...it's all about LM.
But--I assumed I would be wracked with guilt about leaving him. I thought I would cry each and every day. I thought I would worry and obsess about him not being with me to play, grow and learn. But-I'm learning that this isn't the case.
Despite the fact she's got her hands full, my DL loves to snuggle with LM and that helps me walk out the door in the morning. Seeing him burrow into her and smile at me, I feel better. Knowing that he's FINALLY starting to take longer naps there AND self-soothe himself in the process (please start doing it at home LM! Please!), shows me that he is learning some independence (not that I don't try to turn this around by snuggling and cuddling him all weekend!). My point is, I suppose, that I see him growing and having fun. And socializing...the little girls are majorly crushing on my little man.
I could obsess about not spending all of the time with him. I could think about how I could be teaching him and experiencing with him. But, for some odd reason, I haven't been obsessing. Maybe it's because the start of the school year is always crazy (can I tell you how infrequently I've gotten to sit down??!). Maybe it's because I've missed working.
Whatever the reason, we've settled into a rhythm that doesn't make me feel like a bad mom for working and leaving him somewhere else. Will this change when I start to miss "firsts"? Or when he starts to seem happier to see her?
Probably.
But, for now, I'm enjoying the rare break from self-imposed guilt. It's refreshing for a change. We'll see how long it lasts :-)
Oh, and the fact that he seems to be doing all his pooping at daycare (seriously! I've changed one in the last week!) doesn't hurt either!
My secret for you in this post is a big one. As someone who is usually rocking the guilt train, this is a new one for me. I haven't been feeling very guilty about taking LM to daycare.
Now, don't get me wrong. I miss him all day long. My classroom is covered in pictures of him. I get text message/picture message updates during the day from the DL. I rush home much earlier than normal to lay on the floor and play with him. Weekends are sacred time--don't try to get me to do anything useful...it's all about LM.
But--I assumed I would be wracked with guilt about leaving him. I thought I would cry each and every day. I thought I would worry and obsess about him not being with me to play, grow and learn. But-I'm learning that this isn't the case.
Despite the fact she's got her hands full, my DL loves to snuggle with LM and that helps me walk out the door in the morning. Seeing him burrow into her and smile at me, I feel better. Knowing that he's FINALLY starting to take longer naps there AND self-soothe himself in the process (please start doing it at home LM! Please!), shows me that he is learning some independence (not that I don't try to turn this around by snuggling and cuddling him all weekend!). My point is, I suppose, that I see him growing and having fun. And socializing...the little girls are majorly crushing on my little man.
I could obsess about not spending all of the time with him. I could think about how I could be teaching him and experiencing with him. But, for some odd reason, I haven't been obsessing. Maybe it's because the start of the school year is always crazy (can I tell you how infrequently I've gotten to sit down??!). Maybe it's because I've missed working.
Whatever the reason, we've settled into a rhythm that doesn't make me feel like a bad mom for working and leaving him somewhere else. Will this change when I start to miss "firsts"? Or when he starts to seem happier to see her?
Probably.
But, for now, I'm enjoying the rare break from self-imposed guilt. It's refreshing for a change. We'll see how long it lasts :-)
Oh, and the fact that he seems to be doing all his pooping at daycare (seriously! I've changed one in the last week!) doesn't hurt either!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
WWYD?
Let me preface this by saying that I really like our daycare lady. She is super sweet, is excited to see LM and he lights up when he sees her.
When we signed up with her last fall, she had two twin 3 year olds (the person who referred us). She told us that she could take up to 5 full time children. All was well and good.
Fast-forward to now---she's added two part time 10 month olds. They're there a few days a week, for part of the day. So it's the twins, LM and the 2 others. I've been feeling a little odd about it all. It seems like a LOT to me. I wouldn't be able to do that all day and I'm a teacher! It seems like LM is getting plenty of attention. But--really, there's no way to know. I know that there's no way to give all of them the amount of attention that I think I'd really want LM to have...but that's a relative thing because he's used to full time mommy and daddy attention (especially after the summer).
I'm trying to be tolerant of it all because it's all new. We just started Monday with him arriving at the normal time and I know that it takes awhile to establish a routine. Oh, and I'm the one bringing the baby who spits up everywhere (multiple outfit changes) and refuses to nap unless held for more than 20 minutes (for her, us, anyone...please be a phase, please be a phase).
But today when TH picked LM up, she told him about a 3 month old that will be starting in a few weeks--the fourth full time child. I already feel like she's overwhelmed and taking on a lot. Another little one...littler than my little one...it just seems like a lot.
We don't feel 100% comfortable with that many but not so much that we're ready to walk (it was really hard to find someone we liked!). I don't know how to express to her how we're feeling. I don't even know if it's my place. I tend to not make waves but maybe we should be.
I want what's best for LM...but I don't want to overreact (or under-react). I've not seen anything that makes me think he's not being taken care of properly. Do I wish she'd hold him more? Yes of course I do...but I'd hold him all day if I could! Do I think some of the spitting up issue could be helped if he sat on her lap instead of a bouncy chair or boppy after he's done eating? Probably. But I don't know what's reasonable.
I basically just need to know what you think about it all and what you'd do. I'm too tired to think deeply...please share your brains with me :-)
When we signed up with her last fall, she had two twin 3 year olds (the person who referred us). She told us that she could take up to 5 full time children. All was well and good.
Fast-forward to now---she's added two part time 10 month olds. They're there a few days a week, for part of the day. So it's the twins, LM and the 2 others. I've been feeling a little odd about it all. It seems like a LOT to me. I wouldn't be able to do that all day and I'm a teacher! It seems like LM is getting plenty of attention. But--really, there's no way to know. I know that there's no way to give all of them the amount of attention that I think I'd really want LM to have...but that's a relative thing because he's used to full time mommy and daddy attention (especially after the summer).
I'm trying to be tolerant of it all because it's all new. We just started Monday with him arriving at the normal time and I know that it takes awhile to establish a routine. Oh, and I'm the one bringing the baby who spits up everywhere (multiple outfit changes) and refuses to nap unless held for more than 20 minutes (for her, us, anyone...please be a phase, please be a phase).
But today when TH picked LM up, she told him about a 3 month old that will be starting in a few weeks--the fourth full time child. I already feel like she's overwhelmed and taking on a lot. Another little one...littler than my little one...it just seems like a lot.
We don't feel 100% comfortable with that many but not so much that we're ready to walk (it was really hard to find someone we liked!). I don't know how to express to her how we're feeling. I don't even know if it's my place. I tend to not make waves but maybe we should be.
I want what's best for LM...but I don't want to overreact (or under-react). I've not seen anything that makes me think he's not being taken care of properly. Do I wish she'd hold him more? Yes of course I do...but I'd hold him all day if I could! Do I think some of the spitting up issue could be helped if he sat on her lap instead of a bouncy chair or boppy after he's done eating? Probably. But I don't know what's reasonable.
I basically just need to know what you think about it all and what you'd do. I'm too tired to think deeply...please share your brains with me :-)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
How it went...
We survived. He wouldn't nap unless she held him (par for the course these days) and spit up all over the place but she said how much she loved his "talking" and what a good snuggler he was. That reassures me that he didn't sit in a bouncy chair all day.
I cried...but in the car. It was hard hard hard to leave him. But--he looked just fine.
When I got to work, there was a mountain of stuff to deal with so that helped.
What really helped was my wonderful daycare lady texting me a few pictures/updates during the day. It fortified me. She rocks!
TH picked him up and LM took a few bits to smile at me when I got home...but when he did focus on me...man, I love that smile.
He got sleepy earlier than normal..exciting!...but still had trouble falling asleep for like the fifth night in a row. He'll be asleep..then wakes up totally up. Rinse and repeat (from 745-945 tonight). Gotta figure that out.
I guess we do it again tomorrow...hopefully it gets easier each day.
Thank goodness he didn't do anything special/new/milestoney today!
I cried...but in the car. It was hard hard hard to leave him. But--he looked just fine.
When I got to work, there was a mountain of stuff to deal with so that helped.
What really helped was my wonderful daycare lady texting me a few pictures/updates during the day. It fortified me. She rocks!
TH picked him up and LM took a few bits to smile at me when I got home...but when he did focus on me...man, I love that smile.
He got sleepy earlier than normal..exciting!...but still had trouble falling asleep for like the fifth night in a row. He'll be asleep..then wakes up totally up. Rinse and repeat (from 745-945 tonight). Gotta figure that out.
I guess we do it again tomorrow...hopefully it gets easier each day.
Thank goodness he didn't do anything special/new/milestoney today!
Unraveling around the edges
In an hour, I'm taking LM to daycare for the first time. It's silly for me to be such a mess...I'll be less than ten minutes away working on my classroom. I can leave and come get him at any point. He loves everyone and will have a blast with her.
But. But. But. But.
He's my baby and today starts the possibility that someone else will see his "firsts".
Last night he discovered he could control his eyelids independently of each other and spent five minutes doing these weird winking things and then cracking himself up over and over. I got to see it and laugh with him.
I don't do well with change. Somehow I've got to pull it together.
p.s.--I'm also exhausted and run down but that's another post for another time.
But. But. But. But.
He's my baby and today starts the possibility that someone else will see his "firsts".
Last night he discovered he could control his eyelids independently of each other and spent five minutes doing these weird winking things and then cracking himself up over and over. I got to see it and laugh with him.
I don't do well with change. Somehow I've got to pull it together.
p.s.--I'm also exhausted and run down but that's another post for another time.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Buttoned up
At least that's what I tried to do with my mouth today when we met with the daycare lady. Now, don't get me wrong...I talked. I asked my questions and answered hers about LM. I even chit-chatted about her daughter and losing teeth (I really don't like small talk!).
But, what I managed to do even more than talk was something much more important---I watched. I watched our daycare lady (henceforth known as DL) light up at the sight of LM. I watched her snuggle him, talk to him, marvel at his chunky thighs and arm rolls & introduce him to the other little ones---two 10 month old little girls (there are twin 3 year olds that will start when the school year starts up).
I watched her love my son. Now my cynical side realizes a little bit might have been for show---but honestly, it didn't appear anymore faux than when I turn up the syrupy factor when the principal pops into my classroom...not fake, just not something I have the energy to do 100% of the time.
She seems to truly love babies. She incorporated him into their day while I watched...bringing out the bumbo for him while she changed a diaper, holding him while she helped another little one work on her green beans in the high chair. I watched while she disciplined her own 11 year old daughter who was there (and a bit high-maintenance, touchy feely with the babies for my taste but hey! she'll be in school soon and she was really good with them..so my hang up mostly).
And then, I watched while he fell asleep on her lap...and she shifted him to rest on his stomach on her chest...like I had mentioned to her very early in the visit about how he really loves to sleep when we're softies and don't make him nap in his crib or PNP.
So, overall, it'll be good. He was happy and mellow the whole visit..taking it all in. I think she really is sincere in her excitement and joy about him...his birth announcement was in the collage of her daycare kids photos. I'm glad we went and more importantly, I'm glad I watched more than I talked :-)
**Some nuts and bolts just in case you're interested**
We have to provide a PNP (so we're now in the market for a simple, cheap but comfy one), diapers (we'll leave a box for her), bottles/formula (I LOVE that she already has some kiddos who take warmed bottles and some that do room temp like us, so I know she's down with it), extra clothes and a lovey if he wants one. Besides that, we'll leave our diaper bag with random normal stuff in it since TH will do pick-up and I'll do drop off.
She has wipes, a swing, bouncy chair, bumbo, age appropriate toys etc. She'll use whatever sippy cups etc that we transition to but in her story-telling (man, can she talk!) she talked about how she likes to buy toddler things like plates, silverware and cups in colors they like so they have their own little set...so I think her tendency leans towards making it a little bit more like they're a part of her home and spoiling! She also will cook some table finger foods when they're older--fruits, veggies etc. For instance, today she made green beans for the girls on top of their baby food.
Anyway--he'll start for six hours Tues-Friday the first week of August for a trial while I start prepping for the school year. I'm excited...nervous but excited.
But, what I managed to do even more than talk was something much more important---I watched. I watched our daycare lady (henceforth known as DL) light up at the sight of LM. I watched her snuggle him, talk to him, marvel at his chunky thighs and arm rolls & introduce him to the other little ones---two 10 month old little girls (there are twin 3 year olds that will start when the school year starts up).
I watched her love my son. Now my cynical side realizes a little bit might have been for show---but honestly, it didn't appear anymore faux than when I turn up the syrupy factor when the principal pops into my classroom...not fake, just not something I have the energy to do 100% of the time.
She seems to truly love babies. She incorporated him into their day while I watched...bringing out the bumbo for him while she changed a diaper, holding him while she helped another little one work on her green beans in the high chair. I watched while she disciplined her own 11 year old daughter who was there (and a bit high-maintenance, touchy feely with the babies for my taste but hey! she'll be in school soon and she was really good with them..so my hang up mostly).
And then, I watched while he fell asleep on her lap...and she shifted him to rest on his stomach on her chest...like I had mentioned to her very early in the visit about how he really loves to sleep when we're softies and don't make him nap in his crib or PNP.
So, overall, it'll be good. He was happy and mellow the whole visit..taking it all in. I think she really is sincere in her excitement and joy about him...his birth announcement was in the collage of her daycare kids photos. I'm glad we went and more importantly, I'm glad I watched more than I talked :-)
**Some nuts and bolts just in case you're interested**
We have to provide a PNP (so we're now in the market for a simple, cheap but comfy one), diapers (we'll leave a box for her), bottles/formula (I LOVE that she already has some kiddos who take warmed bottles and some that do room temp like us, so I know she's down with it), extra clothes and a lovey if he wants one. Besides that, we'll leave our diaper bag with random normal stuff in it since TH will do pick-up and I'll do drop off.
She has wipes, a swing, bouncy chair, bumbo, age appropriate toys etc. She'll use whatever sippy cups etc that we transition to but in her story-telling (man, can she talk!) she talked about how she likes to buy toddler things like plates, silverware and cups in colors they like so they have their own little set...so I think her tendency leans towards making it a little bit more like they're a part of her home and spoiling! She also will cook some table finger foods when they're older--fruits, veggies etc. For instance, today she made green beans for the girls on top of their baby food.
Anyway--he'll start for six hours Tues-Friday the first week of August for a trial while I start prepping for the school year. I'm excited...nervous but excited.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Hope her ears are ready :-)
Tomorrow LM and I are going to go hang out with the daycare lady that we chose. This will be the first time he's met her...not sure how all the time disappeared, I had meant to do a couple meet n greets before leaving him. But--since I am a Grade A procrastinator, we're visiting tomorrow and he starts limited visits the first week of August when I go into school to start setting up for the start of school the following week.
I'm not sure if you've noticed this about me...but I don't take the short route of saying anything. So tomorrow, I KNOW I am going to have the overwhelming urge to tell her each and every little thing about LM...at least all of them I think she needs to know to make things go smoothly. Ok Ok...so it'll be each and every little thing about him.
There are so many things I feel like she needs to know. Part of that is my fault. As we are currently transitioning to formula and losing the swaddle, discussing feeding habits/info and napping info is not exactly straight-forward. The whole he "most naps after he has eaten and played but sometimes he falls asleep after he's eaten and normally naps 30-45 minutes at a time except for the times that he naps for 1-2 hours etc etc" conversation will probably end with me tongue-tied and her confused. The type A part of me wants to type it all out but I should probably wait until after we meet and I can judge a) how clearly I explained things and b) my perceived interpretation of her reaction.
Heck--I'm not even sure what all to tell her. I'm hoping she is a good question asker. I've got a list of things I want to talk about but man, I'm not good at these conversations. The wordiness might get out of control! I'm also a little unsure about what is "normal" to be expected to bring/leave at an in-home daycare (5 kids including LM) and what might be FTM not knowing I'm being duped. Not that I don't trust her...I just always feel like I may be offering to do/provide too much.
Any tips? Experiences? Anything to help me not turn into a crazy speed talker :-)
I'm not sure if you've noticed this about me...but I don't take the short route of saying anything. So tomorrow, I KNOW I am going to have the overwhelming urge to tell her each and every little thing about LM...at least all of them I think she needs to know to make things go smoothly. Ok Ok...so it'll be each and every little thing about him.
There are so many things I feel like she needs to know. Part of that is my fault. As we are currently transitioning to formula and losing the swaddle, discussing feeding habits/info and napping info is not exactly straight-forward. The whole he "most naps after he has eaten and played but sometimes he falls asleep after he's eaten and normally naps 30-45 minutes at a time except for the times that he naps for 1-2 hours etc etc" conversation will probably end with me tongue-tied and her confused. The type A part of me wants to type it all out but I should probably wait until after we meet and I can judge a) how clearly I explained things and b) my perceived interpretation of her reaction.
Heck--I'm not even sure what all to tell her. I'm hoping she is a good question asker. I've got a list of things I want to talk about but man, I'm not good at these conversations. The wordiness might get out of control! I'm also a little unsure about what is "normal" to be expected to bring/leave at an in-home daycare (5 kids including LM) and what might be FTM not knowing I'm being duped. Not that I don't trust her...I just always feel like I may be offering to do/provide too much.
Any tips? Experiences? Anything to help me not turn into a crazy speed talker :-)
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