Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Slogging along

I could start off by apologizing that I'm not posting more...but, let's be real--I haven't been able to post regularly for a long time and based off my stats/comments, this has mostly just become a place for me to write to me and a record for LM and PS's milestones.

Things are carrying along here. PS was four months old yesterday---I have no idea where the time went. She is a cooing, talking, singing baby now--amazing what not having a hurting tummy will do for a disposition.  She "sings" along with LM in the car in the mornings when he's singing to his music---it's SO cute. She smiles when she sees one of us--this big gummy, open-mouthed smile like LM used to do. She has a temper still and wants what she wants RIGHT NOW.  She is better at tummy time and will stay on her belly for 10 minutes or so if she wants to and is amused sufficiently (i.e. can see past the educationally appropriate toys I have surrounded her with and see the tv).  She loves loves loves her hands and sucks on them all day long. She still takes a paci to get calm quickly but I think she's learning slowly to self-soothe with her hands. She's close to rolling back to belly--she easily rolls to her side. She has decided that's how she likes to sleep at night too---makes me nervous! She drinks about 30oz of Nutramigen a day---it's adding up quickly! We're appealing Anthem's decision to not cover it---they said it wasn't medically necessary for her to have...despite their own guidelines stating that milk protein allergies should be.  Hmm...frustrating to say the least. We pay SO much for them to be willing to do so little. But, we're appealing with the help of the pedi's office. She takes her last bottle around 730/8 and usually sleeps until 12-130, then up again around 4-5.  Some nights she only wakes up once but I've yet to figure out what makes the difference. But, it is what it is.  I haven't slept well since late 2010 (the uncomfortable part of LM's pregnancy) since just as he started sleeping well, I was pregnant with PS.

It's time to wake them up and get the day going more so I should probably update about LM later.
Off we go.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Trying to be happier

I know I was negative last night...and I'm trying to look at the bright side of things.

Both of my babies are amazing.

LM amazes me daily with what he says and thinks.  He has figured out how to attach meaning to his words.  He associates things with himself..."Little Monkey's coat/shoes/monkey" etc and other people "Mama boots/chair/book" etc.  Just tonight he handed me one of his puzzle pieces (a cow) and held out the puzzle piece he held (another cow) and said "Mama cow. LM cow too".  Too?? When did he learn to use the word too appropriately??  He tells me all about his day at bedtime. He sings nursery rhymes, the alphabet and counts to 10 (mostly). He recognizes and finds eight different shapes all around him.  He loves his books and will sit and "read" them to me while I'm changing PS's diaper.  Every day is a new and special experience with him...even if he is still aggressive at daycare! He'll be two (2!!!!!) in just over a month.  Where did the time go?

PS is growing and changing like crazy.  She smiles and coos like a fiend.  In the car on the way to daycare in the morning, she coos/talks along with LM as he sings to his music.  It's adorable.  She's got great head control and tries to roll to her side when she's on her back. She's happy to grab at her toys and bat at things. She loves her fingers and sucks on them all the time. At daycare, apparently she's using them to self-soothe to fall asleep but not at home yet.  She turns her eyes/head towards our voices and cracks a great big grin when we come into visual range.  She smiles at her brother and is a tough little cookie that doesn't cry as much when he bonks her.  You can almost see it in her eyes that she can't wait to be able to bonk him back. She loves to snuggle with me and only wants TH or I in the evening after daycare (my poor SIL just wanted to snuggle her one evening and she wasn't having it!).  We've had better luck at getting her to sleep longer stretches when I get her bedtime bottle in her before eight and get her down shortly after.  Tonight she was down for the evening at 730....which makes me sad. I just want to hold her while she sleeps..but I know it's better for her.  She's been waking up 1-2x a night--usually between 12-1 and 3-5.  I know we'll get to one time a night soon...she's already a better sleep than LM was at this age.  She's got this amazing personality that I'm loving watching emerge.

I'm happy with my life...as hard as it seems some days.  I just need to keep it in focus.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Negative Nelly

I'm feeling very negative today....about lots of things.

The biggest thing is the sudden diagnosis of a colleague with stage 4 cancer....two weeks ago she had an operable, highly survivable lump....and then they found more.  I'm heartbroken for her and her family.  And have no idea how to really help her...or process the idea that she might die.  I'm used to dealing with elderly death...no one close to me and my age has died.  It's scary to think about leaving my family....and I am furious with how a modern society still cannot solve such a prevalent medical issue.  It's not fair that so many wonderful people are suffering while rapists, murderers and sociopaths run around healthy.

Negative, I warned you.

I also feel negative about the hoops that I have to jump through to help PS.  I've spent countless hours on the phone dealing with insurance about it...and now we're waiting to see if the paperwork our pediatrician is filling out will receive authorization from our insurance.  Our policy states that it does not cover infant formula....but then states that it covers medical food when it is nutritional necessary to thrive....which the Nutramigen is for us.  She can't have regular formula because of the milk protein....we tried soy and she reacted...so this is what she has to have.  The insurance rep I talked to said she thought it was a strong possibility that it would be approved.  But--since I'm feeling negative...I worry that since they couldn't diagnose her with a true "allergy" and just an intolerance, that they'll use that as a loophole.  It just is such a sad commentary on our society that we pay an arm and a leg for healthcare every month and when our baby really needs support, they're likely to do what they can to not pay.  And I don't know what we'll do if they deny it...we'll appeal it of course.  But, it's hard. And I feel so negative...I'm not sure why I can't attempt to see the positive side. I just can't.