The Shirt

Today I was finally checking an item off my ever-growing, rarely shrinking To-Do list....cleaning out my closet. As part of the daily battle of what to wear, what fits (or rather what doesn't) and what makes me feel the least icky, my side of the closet has been resembling more of a clothing explosion than a closet. 

In reality, it was more of a mass picking up off the floor, hanging up and folding than a cleaning.  I have already taken all of my maternity clothes out and piled them on the guest bed to someday box up.  Last summer (the week LM was conceived ironically), I went through and got rid of all of the clothes I don't wear, don't like or were too big (I had just managed to lose some weight and didn't think I'd need the bigger clothes...haha).  So, really it was more about organization than anything else.

I'm getting to the point, I promise.

As I straightened, arranged and dusted off (oh, my lovely high heels...I have missed you so!) all my shoes, I came across a crumpled white shirt.  I picked it up, shook it out and realized why it was down in the corner all smushed.  When TH and I decided that we were ready to have a baby and tossed out the BCP, I had such high (naive) hopes.  In fact, on a shopping trip shortly after we started trying, I bought a new, white button down dressy shirt for work. It had cute little cap sleeves but a cut that would camouflage a growing bump at first and accommodate a bigger bump one day. I was naive.

Fast-forward to last summer, fresh off a failed Clomid cycle and I'm purging my closet.  I come across this shirt (never worn, tags still attached) and see it as a physical embodiment of my failure to do what my body is supposed to naturally do.  It was so frustrating to think back to those years I thought it would happen so easily. So, I did what every well-adjusted adult does when frustrated....I balled it up and hurled it in the corner of my closet. 

I never got a chance to wear this magical baby bump accentuating shirt.  I forgot all about it until today when I found it.  I took the tags off, tossed it in the laundry basket and when work starts in August...I will wear it.  And I will remember that sometimes, life has its own plan for me.

And, that I should shop accordingly.