Sunday, August 19, 2012

Eight isn't enough

Eight weeks. That's how much time (in theory) we have left until Pumpkin Seed is here. While that may seem like a LOOOONG time, and it is nearly an entire grading period, it's not enough!

I'm starting to freak out a bit about what I need to accomplish in that timeframe....oh and then chop two weeks off for when I'm planning on stopping working.

Planning. That's the key word. All this is about what I've planned to happen, when I've planned for it to happen and how I've planned for it to happen. And we all know what happens when we make our own plan. *kerpow* (that's the sound of a plan exploding).

I should know by now (after 17months of parenthood) that NOTHING goes as you plan. You make plans, your child changes them, you adapt and we all go about our merry sleep-deprived ways. But yet, I keep making plans.

It goes a little something like this...
Self (to self): "I'll stop working at the start of October, two weeks before DD just like my OB recommends. It'll be no problem getting all of the children assessed, their report cards done and come in after I start maternity leave for the big evening conferences."

Self (to self): "Umm...what about all of the other day to day school work that is growing exponentially as the school district keeps coming up with new and special things for you to do on top of everything else?"

Self (to self): "Ehh. No problem. I'll get it done. Suuure, I've got 28 students who have more issues than I realized (and realize more everyday). But, I'll get it done. Maaaybe I won't come in for conferences, but then I'll need to create a little letter for each report card talking about skills."

Self (loudly to self): "Seriously. Shut up. You're more and more exhausted as the days go by and not even sure that you'll make it until October. You have a million classroom things to do to get organized enough to leave it to someone else, NO SUB, two FULL weeks of detailed sub plans to write, regular stuff to do lesson wise, curriculum maps to update, a wild 17mo old at home that you can't lift without your back hurting but yet refuse to not pick him up AND have yet to name the baby".

Self (to self): "Oooh....I have a new idea for a neat station. I'll do that instead of working on everything else!"

Self (to self): *facepalm*

So...obviously, a bit freaked out about my lack of ability (or rather my inability) to move forward instead of side to side. I did accomplish a bit step today by finishing up my uber-detailed document of everything (procedures, day to day, etc) you need to know about my classroom. Luckily, the updating from last time didn't actually take as long as I thought. But, it's amazing what all has changed between babies. So, that should help. I plan (there's that word again!!) to make a detailed to-do list (separate from all my other to-do lists) about what needs to be accomplished before I can start my maternity leave when I get to school tomorrow. Hopefully, it's not as long as I imagine it is in my head.

And, on top of it all, I've got to start taking it easy. I'm feeling worn down, beaten down and scared that I'm being too hard on my body. I just can't leave all of those other people's babies left unattended for 9+ weeks without knowing they'll be in good hands, with everything they need to succeed. And I can't not spend tons of time playing with my baby..even if that means being on the floor with him, picking him up when he looks at me with a cute little smile and says "uppa" with his arms raised etc. I need my list to help organize me. And make me accountable.

Perhaps, I'll post it on here someday and you all can help make me accountable as well.

No more to be done!


  1. i cannot believe it's only eight weeks away, it seems like you only just announced your pregnancy! crazy how time flies. good luck with the plan, my plan was that i didn't really have one.

  2. You can do it. The sub will be fine - they are trained to take over and be teachers. Not as good as you are, sure, but the kids will be okay. And YOU will be okay. Take a DEEP BREATH!


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