Negative Nelly

I'm feeling very negative today....about lots of things.

The biggest thing is the sudden diagnosis of a colleague with stage 4 cancer....two weeks ago she had an operable, highly survivable lump....and then they found more.  I'm heartbroken for her and her family.  And have no idea how to really help her...or process the idea that she might die.  I'm used to dealing with elderly death...no one close to me and my age has died.  It's scary to think about leaving my family....and I am furious with how a modern society still cannot solve such a prevalent medical issue.  It's not fair that so many wonderful people are suffering while rapists, murderers and sociopaths run around healthy.

Negative, I warned you.

I also feel negative about the hoops that I have to jump through to help PS.  I've spent countless hours on the phone dealing with insurance about it...and now we're waiting to see if the paperwork our pediatrician is filling out will receive authorization from our insurance.  Our policy states that it does not cover infant formula....but then states that it covers medical food when it is nutritional necessary to thrive....which the Nutramigen is for us.  She can't have regular formula because of the milk protein....we tried soy and she reacted...so this is what she has to have.  The insurance rep I talked to said she thought it was a strong possibility that it would be approved.  But--since I'm feeling negative...I worry that since they couldn't diagnose her with a true "allergy" and just an intolerance, that they'll use that as a loophole.  It just is such a sad commentary on our society that we pay an arm and a leg for healthcare every month and when our baby really needs support, they're likely to do what they can to not pay.  And I don't know what we'll do if they deny it...we'll appeal it of course.  But, it's hard. And I feel so negative...I'm not sure why I can't attempt to see the positive side. I just can't.

Negative.