I need a fairy godmother.

Once upon a time, there was a sleep deprived mama whose class was kicking her butt. They were using up all available energy she had during the day being frighteningly off the wall for this early in the year. Then she'd come up and use up all of the energy reserves having fun with her little monkey. Everyone in this fun far far away place was surviving until the big mean nasty monster, Mr. Cold, made his appearance. Now, everyone in all the land is up every two hours with a sad LM who has been granted an endless supply of snot (along with his teething drool) by a mean fairy who hates the world. This fairy has also rendered formerly useful tools such as humidifiers, inclined surfaces and snot suckers, completely useless and ineffective. Will there be a happy ending? SOON???? Or will I have to go find a frog to kiss? If so, it better come to me because I don't have the energy to move and I'm quickly turning into an ogre.